Currents IV: Surrender
by Gillian Taylor
Summary: "It's easy to be strong I've done it for so long, But this time I have to remember, This time to get what I want, I have to surrender" - From Ty Herndon's "Have to Surrender"


Title: Currents IV: Surrender  
Author: Gillian Taylor  
Category/Rating: Romance / PG (For now)  
Characters: Leia/Han  
Warnings: Leia loves Han. Han loves Leia *sniff* (though this is only  
when he hasn't met me ;-))   
Summary: "It's easy to be strong I've done it for so long/  
But this time I have to remember/ This time to get what I want/ I have  
to surrender" - From Ty Herndon's "Have to Surrender"  
  
Disclaimer: My name is George Lucas. I created it all, I tell you! It  
all! MUAHAHAHA! Bow before me all ye little people! *clears throat*   
Sorry, Dr. Pepper talking there. Actually, I'm just a poor college  
student who's doing this stuff for fun and for her own perverted  
enjoyment.  
  
Author's Notes: Part IV in a series devoted to the start of the  
Han/Leia relationship.   
  
TIMELINE: This takes place about a week after Currents I & II.  
  
Place: Thermia, Klatuu Nebula (too much Galaxy Quest on my part).   
Current location of the Rebel forces between ANH and ESB.   
  
Special Thanks and Chocolate Covered Jedi to my beta, Crysta.  
  
Feedback: I like mail. Any mail. usstrustno1@hotmail.com  
  
----  
  
"Currents IV: Surrender"  
by Gillian Taylor  
  
Time.  
  
She could see it crossing before her in the soft interplay of sunlight  
on the forest floor, in the breaths that left her body, and in the  
constant movement of the Rebellion compound. It sang to her of blood  
and sweat, of pain and death, of love and love lost. It spoke of  
history, history of the Thermians and history of the Galactic Empire.   
But most of all, it told her of her personal history.  
  
Leia Organa had always fought for what she wanted. Even as a child,  
though a princess of Alderaan, she needed to struggle in her eyes to  
pass muster for her father. She believed that the strongest survived,  
following blindly to the tugs of her instincts. Climb, fight, stand,  
love, hate. She believed in their power, and in their power to move  
the world for her. The strong survive.  
  
Not anymore.  
  
In the flow time, things move with the eddies and currents. Nothing is  
the same, and everything changes. She had let herself go with the  
movement, but she was still scared. Scared of the truth that she saw  
in his eyes and of the pull of her instincts for the first time in her  
life.  
  
She was in love. Madly, deeply, head-over-heels in love. Part of her  
knew that she would have to stop being the strong one, but the other  
rallied against the loss of something that had always come so easily to  
her. She had to surrender, give in to the love that she felt and give  
up the strength that had been her greatest advantage and her greatest  
failing.  
  
She didn't know if she could.  
  
Leia released a sigh into the wind and leaned against the side of the  
massive bay doors to stare, unseeing, into the Thermian wilderness.   
The only path that she could take, the only one that mattered, was the  
one that led straight to him. She had to tell him exactly what lay in  
her heart and hope that it was returned.  
  
To let herself go, she had to leave herself open to hurt.  
  
"Hey," a voice said from beside her.  
  
"Hey," she returned, a slight tremor in her voice when she realized who  
it was. It was time.  
  
"It's uh...a nice day out," Han Solo said rather nervously. But Leia  
didn't notice any difference in his voice, she was too aware of his  
presence.  
  
"Yes, it is," she responded, studiously looking into the woods rather  
than turning towards him. If she did, she knew she would run.  
  
After an uncomfortable silence, Han was the first to speak, "Leia..."  
  
"Han..." she said at the same time. The looked at each other and  
laughed nervously.   
  
Han gestured for her to speak what was on her mind, something that she  
needed to do before she lost her nerve. "What if I told you exactly  
how I was feeling now, at this moment, about us? What would you say?"  
Leia asked him, her voice barely above the threshold of hearing.  
  
"That I hope its exactly what I'm feeling...that whatever it is, I'd  
love you no matter what."  
  
Leia bit back a choked sob at his words. It couldn't be. He couldn't  
be saying what she had thought she had heard. "You...you love me?"  
  
"Always, in every way," Han told her gently, wiping away a tear that  
had escaped her eye with a tender touch.  
  
'I have to surrender,' she told herself firmly and looked into his  
eyes, "I love you too."  
  
Time seemed to stop as for a split second the world revolved around the  
two of them. In each other's eyes they could see exactly what they had  
been looking for all of their lives. Life had been empty before they  
had each other, but now...now it would be full for the rest of time.   
  
There were no sudden claps of thunder with that admission. Nor were  
there flocks of birds that suddenly took flight or stars suddenly  
bursting into blazing glory in the heavens. There were tears,  
kisses, hugs, and touches. There were whispered declarations of love  
everlasting and the overwhelming sense of never being alone again. But  
most of all, there was relief. It was a relief born of lifting a heavy  
weight off of their chests, a relief born of speaking the truth to each  
other. It was pure, it was light, it was love.  
  
They had surrendered...to life and to love.  
  
END  
  
-----------------  
  
"Have to Surrender"  
by Ty Herndon  
  
All of my life I've fought hard for things  
that I have want-ed  
Caught up and blindly believing the strongest survive  
But here in your eyes I see everything  
I ever dreamed of and I am afraid  
If I rush in if I move to fast I just might  
frightened my one chance away  
  
It's easy to be strong I've done it for so long  
But this time I have to remember  
This time to get what I want I have to surrender  
  
Here I stand helplessly willing and waiting for your love  
When want became need, my heart had no choice at all-ll   
What will you do now it's up to you now  
It's so hard to wait but I will  
God give me wisdom God give me strength  
And the courage to simply stand still  
  
It's easy to be strong I've done it for so long  
But this time I have to remember  
This time to get what I want I have to surrender  
  
Here I am take me Somehow you save me  
From a lifetime of not being all love can make me.  
  
It's easy to be strong I've done it for so long  
But this time I have to remember  
This time to get what I want  
This time I have to be tender  
This time to get what I need  
I have to surrender  
  
******  
Comments, flames, and pleas for me to return to the rock that   
I came from should be sent to me personally. I like mail.   
Any mail. Good, bad, mediocre...  
  
usstrustno1@hotmail.com


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